Quality of Life
I would like to share a scripture that has been on my heart:
“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.’” — John 9:1–5, ESV
This passage came to mind as I reflected on my mother-in-law’s last stage of life. For about six months, maybe more, she was confined to a wheelchair and, eventually, to her bed. To many people, that kind of limitation seems terrible. After her stroke, she also lost her ability to speak. Many would say that is “no quality of life,” and I confess there were times I thought the same thing about her situation.
But her condition did not hinder her from continuing to glorify the Lord she truly believed in. She let go and let God work through her life, even in that difficult season. She demonstrated how to glorify God with the little she had left — with her smile and her facial expressions, whenever she could.
We saw it again and again. When visitors, caregivers, or nurses came in, her face would light up with a big, welcoming smile. As much as we had to get used to her not being able to speak, there were moments God broke through. When we brought her Bible to her from Florida, she opened her mouth and said, clearly and with a smile, “Oh, my Bible.”
My prayer for her when she lost her ability to speak was that she could speak again to tell us what else she wants us to do for her. But the answer to prayer was, she said, “Oh, my Bible.” I was enlightened: what else is more important than God’s Word!
The Sunday before she went to be with the Lord, we visited her as we always did. We shared the Sunday sermon with her, and then we sang a hymn. I was holding my cell phone, playing a YouTube video with the lyrics on the screen. Her eyes were fixed on the words, and then she began to sing along. It wasn’t the whole song, but she made the effort to offer praise to the Lord.
In that little corner where she lay, so helpless and weak, that image reminded me of the song from my childhood, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to him belong. They are weak, but He is strong.” Lillian at that moment might be helpless, but not hopeless. She continued to let God work in her life and reflected the light of the Lord Jesus Christ. She had brightened the corner where she was.
That hit me hard: this is quality of life. It isn’t defined by mobility, speech, or independence. It’s defined by whether the light of Christ can still shine through us regardless of our circumstances. She lived that out until her last days.
She will be greatly missed. Mama, I love you.
生活品質
我想分享一篇一直在我心中的經文：
「當他經過時，他看到一個天生就失明的人。 他的門徒問他：「拉比，誰犯了罪，這個人還是他的父母，他生來就瞎了？」 耶穌回答說：「不是這個人犯了罪，也不是因為他的父母犯了罪，而是要將上帝的作為在他身上顯現出來。 我們必須趁著白天做那派我來的人的工作；黑夜即將到來，那時沒有人能工作。 只要我在世上，我就是世界的光。'」——約翰福音9:1-5，ESV
當我反思我婆婆人生的最後階段時，我想到了這段話。 大約六個月，也許更長時間，她被限制在輪椅上，最終被限制在床上。 對許多人來說，這種限制似乎很可怕。 中風後，她也失去了說話的能力。 許多人會說這是「沒有生活品質」，我承認，有時我對她的處境也有同樣的想法。
但她的狀況並沒有阻止她繼續榮耀她真正相信的神。 她放手，讓上帝掌權渡過她的一生，即使在那個困難的時期。 她展示如何用她剩下的一點來榮耀上帝——只要她可以，她就用她的微笑和臉上表情來榮耀神。
我們一次又一次地看到這樣的情境。 當訪客、護理人員或護士進來時，她的臉上會露出熱情洋溢的微笑。 儘管我們不得不習慣她不能說話，但有的時候上帝在她身上動工突破語言障礙。 當我們把她的聖經從佛羅里達帶給她時，她張開嘴，微笑著很清晰地說：「哦，我的聖經。」
當她失去說話能力時，我為她祈禱，求主讓她能再次說話，告訴我們她希望我們為她做什麼。 但祈禱的回應是她說「哦，我的聖經。」 我如當頭棒喝，還有什麼比上帝的話語更重要的呢！
在她回天家之前的星期天，我們像往常一樣去探望她。 我們和她分享了週日的講道，然後我們唱了讚美詩。 我拿著手機，播放著螢幕上有歌詞的YouTube影片。 她的眼睛盯著這些歌詞，然後她開始跟著唱出歌詞。 並不是整首歌，但她努力盡她所能地讚美主。
在她躺著的那個小角落裡，如此無助和虛弱，那個影像讓我想起了我童年時的詩歌，「耶穌愛我，我知道，因有聖書告訴我。 凡小孩子主牧養。 我雖軟弱，主剛強。」 那一刻，婆婆可能很無助，但並非無望。 她繼續讓上帝在她的生命中工作，並反映主耶穌基督的光。 她照亮了她所在的角落。
這對我是當頭棒喝：這就是生活品質啊。 它不在於我們的身體是否還有自理能力、不在於我們是否還能說話或是否還能獨立自主來定義的。 它取決於我們是否讓基督的光照亮我們並反映出來。 我婆婆，她，一直活出這光直到她在世最終的日子。
我們會非常想念她的。 Mama, I love you.
