印象中的姨丈Uncle Tom是謙和低調並且常常笑臉對人的。多數見面是在家庭宴會中，由於是長輩，也只是點個頭打聲招呼，並無深談。側面觀察到的是他對香姨的愛，原先不知姨丈與我夫婿一樣得過前列腺癌，後來姨丈癌症復發，也許是基於我與香姨人生際遇幾許相似處，在我探望之時姨丈有感而發，對於香姨委身於他後，他得了癌症，覺得對香姨的不公平，語氣中透露了憐愛之情。我想若不是鶼鰈情深，斷不會如此體恤對方而抱不平；這使我想到革命志士林覺民的 與妻訣別書，相濡以沫，愛情的真切，所以能體恤留下來的另一半會如何的思念之苦一樣的心情。
Uncle Tom對香姨是愛屋及烏，雖然不是我表弟，表妹的生父，但卻給了他們一個正面的父親形象。
也謝謝姨丈愛屋及烏不止於我表弟，妹而已，還不時在我外婆，或我父母有需要時提供接載帶他們去看病。我與我的家人都很感激他！姨丈令我尊敬的是他縱然年幼被生母遺棄(二戰期間，還是三歲的姨丈被親生母親遺棄在上海某百貨公司，成為孤兒），卻沒有苦毒的心態，所以他仍能選擇以愛回應世界。
有幸在過去四個月中與姨丈幾次懇談，以下我要用他自己說的話來分享。他在受洗之前緊握我的手說他很感恩，並且說他其實原不知何去何從，但真切的悔改，接受耶穌基督為個人救主，與造物者的重新連結，使他靈魂甦醒充滿喜樂，感恩，他承認沒能早點接受主是錯了。他不只告訴我，也重覆的對別人說。他也要我對曾經傳福音給他的人的無理抱歉。並囑咐我他歸天家後以基督教儀式追思禮。我看到姨丈認錯的謙卑，他的喜樂與確信，也增添我的信心與確據。
Uncle Tom的決志信主，讓我思考選擇的重要性，人生有許多的選擇，而我們的選擇決定我們的故事，這故事會傳承給我們的子孫，也因此成為他們故事的一部分。如果沒有姨丈決志信主耶穌基督的決定，沒有他在感恩節前夕決定接受洗禮，也許今天的喪禮會是不同的形式，故事會不一樣，我也無法在此對Uncle Tom說，雖然我們以前是毫無血緣關係，但因著他的決志，藉著主耶穌被釘十架為我們流出的寶血， 我們同為天父的兒女，我們是真正的一家人了！Uncle Tom雖被他的親生母親遺棄了， 但我知道從今而後不會在被遺棄的，因為，我們神，我的天上的父親應許了，聖經上如此記載：
「婦人焉能忘記她吃奶的嬰孩，不憐恤她所生的兒子？即或有忘記的，我卻不忘記你。」(賽49：15)
並且，我們的神說：“我總不撇下你，也不丟棄你。”（來13：5下）
我知道姨丈的安息是有盼望的，對我們活著的人也是有盼望的，我知道等我回天家那日我們會再見的。Uncle Tom, 再見！
My impression of Uncle Tom is that he was humble, low key, and with great smile. We see each other normally at family reunions and parties. We didn’t talk much, but my observation of him is that his love to my Aunt Shirley. He always talked to her gentle and with respect. He loves Aunt Shirley, so he loves her children as well. Although he isn’t my cousins’ biological father, but he had provided positive father figure to them, to love them and to protect them, he had provided a place to them a place of their own where they called “home”. I believe it means a lot to my cousins and it means a lot to me.
His love didn’t stop at my cousins, but extended to my grandmother and my parents by providing transportation and take them to doctor appointments when needed. My family is very grateful for his kindness and caring.
I respect Uncle Tom the most is that despised what he has been through, without bitterness he was able to give love to others.
I am honored that I had the opportunity to talk to Uncle Tom in depth last 4 months of his life, and was able to share the gospel with him. I have seen the most humble moment of Uncle Tom, right before his baptism. I would like to share this part with his own words. That day he held my hand tightly, he said he was very grateful, he said honestly he didn’t know where he will go after death, but after he accepted Christ as his personal savior, reconnected with the creator of all, he knew where he is going, and he admitted it was a mistake for him not to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior. He said he has peace and joy. He not only said these to me, he had repeated to others as well. He asked me to apologize to people who shared the gospel to him, but was rejected by him. His confession and assurance helped to increase my faith in my own relationship with the Lord.
There are many decisions we need to make in life. Decision matters, because our decision determines what story we want to tell and to pass down to our offspring. Our story becomes a part of our children’s story. Without Uncle Tom’s decision to accept Christ as his personal savior, the memorial service of today would be conducted differently and the story of his life would be different. I won’t be able to tell him that although we are not blood related biologically, but now we are truly family in Christ. For the blood Jesus shed for us, we can be called children of God.
Uncle Tom I know you are with our heavenly Father now. Although Uncle Tom was once abandoned by his mother, but he will never be abandoned again, because our God has promised in Bible, and it was written:
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!” – Isaiah 49:15
It was also written in Bible that:
God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” - Hebrew 13:5b
Uncle Tom’s death is with hope and us who are leaving behind also have hope.
I know that we will meet again till the day I return to our heavenly home.
Goodbye！Uncle Tom. See you!
